Stranger on a Plane

I took my seat just as I would have on any other flight home, 42E. I didn't sleep on the flight from Abidjan to Paris so I was exhausted.  I sat down, put on my seat belt, put my pillow behind my head and put my blanket over my legs.  The plan was to sleep until lunch was served.  I was in the aisle seat of the middle row. My eyes were closed when the person in 42F took their seat and they were kind enough to not wake me but to walk around and come in from the other side. 

About an hour into the flight drinks were served. I ordered red wine with my complimentary snack of rosemary crackers. In a heavy accent the man in 42F ordered,  "orange juice and whiskey." He says it twice,  slower the second time so the attendant understands.  I'm not sure if they did but he never received the whiskey.  He doesn't pursue it.  I look to my right at the man in 42F. He's a boy really (As he was completing his customs form I took a peek.  He was born in 1992.), young face,  short hair and smooth olive skin.  I didn't see his eyes as they were staring at the screen in front of him.  

After taking four bites of lunch I decided it was  time for another nap. So I went to sleep. I'm not sure how long I was asleep but an announcement in French loudly came over the speakers.  "The Captain has turned on the fasten you seat belt sign. Please, fasten your seat belt as we are experiencing turbulence." I heard the announcement, but I was not fully awake. In fact my eyes were still closed. So slowly I open my eyes. Somehow, sometime during my nap, my head was leaning toward the right. Earlier during the flight 42F and I were "fighting" for arm rest dominance.  Somehow,  sometime during my sleep we both seemed to have called a truce,  both on the arm rest,  arms slightly entangled.  My eyes slowly opened more.  Somehow,  sometime he'd fallen asleep and his head was leaning toward the left.  The announcement also interrupted his sleep.  His eyes slowly opened. They were light brown with specs of green. And these eyes were looking into mine,  softly,  smiling.  I smiled and then realized these eyes belonged to a stranger on a plane! I was now fully awake.  So was he.  "You hum..." said 42F. I flashed an awkward smile and turned my head.  He had made me feel "something." Not for him,  but for me.

Waking up, looking into the smiling eyes of a stranger also 'woke me up!'  I realized I want to wake up to my loves' smiling eyes.  To call a truce on our bed space,  waking up entangled with my him who notices I hum when I sleep. In my thoughts on the rest of the flight I thought "this has to change..." I need to slow down. I need to do more of what makes me happy: being active in my church, volunteering,  dancing...I want to be ready,  smiling when I met him,  this stranger.  The one whose eyes will greet me and after a kiss his lips will say "you hum"...

Food and Fun in Cote d'Ivoire: Where to eat, sip and play in Abidjan

Bonjour!  It was my fourth time visiting / working / playing in Abidjan and when I wanted to advise a colleague of what there was to do, where to eat, play and / or find a strong drink I drew a blank!  There are so many delicious restaurants, bars and place to dance in Abidjan.  If you come here and spend any time, you will find it is hard to be bored when in town. I had photos but not idea of the names of these places I truly enjoyed each time I came to Abidjan.  Well, it is time to rectify this mistake!

WHERE / WHAT TO EAT:
If you are looking to enjoy cuisine native to Cote d'Ivoire then there are a few places and dishes you must absolutely try:

• Gorge D'Or (Bietry et Zone 4, Boulevard de Marseille, En face de la nouvelle agence BIAO):  The food is delicious and of course reasonably priced.  We enjoyed a feast fit for a King:  grilled chicken, grilled rabbit, grilled fish, fries, attieke, alloko, rice + beers.  Our total was 25,000 CFA (about $50).  You have your choice of inside (with A/C) or outside (enjoy the breeze of the bay) seating.  Quiet but can become quite busy immediately after work between 5 - 7pm. 

• Le Paradis in III Riveria:  A family owned restaurant (shout out to Papa and Ana).  Another great place to try local food.  I am particularly found of the cold beer, French red wine option and the grilled fish.  For a couple of beers and a meal (salivate over my photo below) I normally pay 8,000 CFA (about $16).

• Chez Amboise (Marcory Centre):  Quite a large location known for attracting tourist and expats.  On the weekends, if there is no rain, this is an ideal place to find, not only local food options, but also entertainment!  Live performers serenade in front of your table or eat fire for your enjoyment (tip appreciated).  Great place for large gatherings.  I would avoid of there is even a chance of rain though as the seating option is only outside.  I would try the braisse de merou (grilled grouper kabob).  It is quite delicious and portions are large and meant for sharing.  For a fun gathering of about 12 people (included many beers and a couple bottles of wine) we paid almost 90,000 CFA (about $180).
• Saakan (Cocody - Deux Plateaux, 2 Plateaux, Boulevard Latrille):  This restaurant boasts of an Ivorian Fusion flavor!  It has a very nice atmosphere, usually quiet, great bar and good food.  I first ate at Saakan two years ago and it was pretty good.  I ate here again during this visit and the food and menu have improved!  This is some of the best oxtail I have ever had the pleasure of eating.  Usually oxtail is served as a stew but they brought it out in 'tail' form after being slow cooked and braised on an open fire.  The meat was tender, moist and falling off the bone.  The sauce, served on the side, added the perfect amount of flavor.  Please try this dish!  It will cost you 9,000 CFA (about $18).

  

  Fried green plantains

  

  Oxtail

Local Dishes:
When you see some of these on the menu, do not be afraid to try!

• Poulet braisse:  grilled chicken usually topped with a onion and tomato 'salsa'
• Poisson braisse: grilled fish usually topped with a onion and tomato 'salsa'
• Merou:  grouper

Grouper skewers

• Choukouya:  slow cooked mutton with onions, potatoes and its natural juices.  This is so good.  Wash your hands and dig in with a group of friends.  To feed 20 people (included attieke) I paid 25,000 CFA (about $50).

• Attieke:  couscous made from yucca.  Just as delicious, this is a staple side here in Cote d'Ivoire.  Again, wash your hands and use this side dish to scoop up meat or sop up delicious gravy into your mouth. 

• Alloko:  fried sweet plantain.  I am particularly fond of the 'burnt' alloko.

Poisson braisse with alloko

• Poulet Kedjenou:  a stew prepared in a clay pot, slow cooked meat with onions and spices.  Perfect for any day and bursting with flavor.  While I prefer chicken (poulet) it can be made with other meat as well.

Abidjan is full of restaurants so you have quite a variety and can literally eat out every night and not be at the same place twice for three weeks!  Some of my favorites:

• Norima (http://www.norimarestaurant.com/):  This is actually the 'sister' restaurant to Saakan.  The owners are an Ivorian husband and his American wife.  Instead of Ivorian fusion this restaurant offers American comfort foods.  Best known for their burgers, they also offer quesadilla, wings and yummy cocktails.  On Fridays there is a nice happy hour but arrive before 8pm.  

Shrimp quesadilla

Cowboy sliders:  bbq sauce, bacon and onion straws

Prawns

• Waimea (Boulevard de Marseille, Biétry):  This is the place to go if you love crepes!  They serve savory and sweet crepes and both are equally delicious!  Very quiet place, ideal for a date or by yourself with your favorite book.  Reasonably priced, crepes range from 1,500 - 5,000 CFA on average (about $3 - 10).

Ham and cheese savory crepe

• La Residence (Boulevard de Marseille, Impasse Bernabe | Par à Fer - Zone 4):  A small boutique hotel with a delicious menu.  If you would like to stay here, book a month or more in advance.  There are only 8 - 10 rooms here (priced between 55,000 and 85,000 CFA - about $115 - $170) and since it is centrally located in Zone 4 it is quite popular!  The staff is amazingly friendly, catering to your needs and the menu boasts of delicious appetizers, entrees and desserts.  Every meal is served with fresh olives and warm, fresh bread.  It is quite expensive but worth every CFA paid.  Two of my colleagues and I enjoyed a large water, bottle of wine, three entrees for a total of 64,500 CFA (about $130).  
  
  
  

  

  Lobster salad

• Dolce Vita (http://ladolcevitaci.net/index2.php):  If you are craving pizza then you must try Dolce Vita!  My colleagues started with fresh mozzarella and tomato appetizer drizzled in basil and fresh olive oil.  It was absolutely divine! If you like it hot, try the homemade pepper infused olive oil with the warn bread served.  There is a large pizza variety with your choice of mozzarella or gruyere cheese.  I chose gruyere and did not regret it. Fun fact: this is an employee owned restaurant!
  
  
  

  

  Chorizo

  

  with tuna and egg

If you are looking for pastries, please find your way to one of these amazing places!  The French influence on the cuisine here in Cote d'Ivoire pretty much guarantees you will enjoy anything you try:

• Paul's Bakery (Boulevard de Marseille - Zone 4):  Paul's bakery offers a large variety of fresh pastries, breads, cookies and cakes.  Additionally there is a large tea selection. 
• Chri's (Zone 4 à l'intersection des rues du 7 Décembre & Paul Langevin):  I was not a fan of the crepes at Chri's. At all.  However, the pastries and cakes were delicious!  I would suggest skipping dinner here and stick to the sweet stuff when visiting Chri's.

Millefeuille from Chri's *YUM*

• N'ice Cream (Zone 4, rue Pierre et Marie Curie): A great place to sit outside and enjoy ice cream served in freshly made cones, or in a cup.  While they offer a large variety of ice cream, they also offer fresh pastries and sorbet.  Also, do not be afraid to try more than one flavor - mix it up or buy one of the small 'shot sized' portions of some of their most popular flavors.
  
  

WHERE TO SIP:
Some days after work you just need a cool, adult beverage.  There are no shortages of places to sip such a beverage in Abidjan.  Non-smokers, be warned:  customers can still smoke in the bar so if this bothers you I would skip the places to sip in Abidjan.  Some of the places I enjoy:

• Che (Zone 4 - Boulevard du 7 Décembre ):  My favorite bar in Abidjan!  I love the atmosphere, the drink menu and the snacks.  Very cozy, great place to be seen and people watch.  Drinks are reasonably priced and delicious!  A large rum selection (now you see why it is my favorite bar in Abidjan ...)
• Rallye (Zone 4 - A l'angle de la rue Mercedes et de la rue Thomas-Edison):  A wonderful place to have lunch as well as find a glass of Cognac to enjoy with colleagues after work.
• Code Barre (at the entrance of Wafou):  Not a large bar, cozy.  Drinks and snacks are reasonably priced and the play list is quite interesting.  A great place to have a few cocktails before moving on to a larger venue.

WHERE TO PLAY/DANCE:
If you are looking to dance all night long, work up a sweat and meet people then throw on your get 'em girl dress, heels, parfum, gloss those lips and hit the streets!  In Abidjan the party does not get started until 1am but it goes until 5- 6am so you have plenty of time to be seen, dance a bit and then move to the next place.  For those of us over 30, I suggest a nap prior to hitting the streets...

• VIP (Deux-Plateaux, Sur le même alignement que le New Ice, Abidjan): No cover charge.  We paid 70,000 CFA (about $140) for a bottle of rum, soda, limes etc. Many people will relax at their table and then hit the dance floor when their favorite song comes on. 
• Parker Place (Rue Paul-Langevin Zone 4):  If you love reggae then this is where you need to be on a Friday or Saturday night! Live music, great atmosphere and cold beer.  Come as you are and enjoy the vibe.
• The Mixx (Zone 4C, Abidjan, Lagunes):  Very popular club in Abidjan.  No need to arrive early as this club stays open until the sun starts to appear.  Usually I arrive ready to party between 1 - 2am.
• Le Saint Germain (http://www.lesaintgermainclub.com/):  Another 'colorful' place to have a drink, play billiards, be seen and dance.  Please experience this place if you are ever in Abidjan.  Ladies dress to impress.  Men ... well the ladies are going to like you regardless of what you are wearing haha
• Le Temple (Cocody Angré sur la route du Mahou dans le district d’Abidjan):  Great place to see live music.  The drinks are a bit pricey and there is usually a cover charge (15,000 CFA or about $30).  Negotiate a bottle of champagne with the cover charge if you are in a group!  It worked for us 4 ladies when we went to see Wizzboy! Also, negotiate the bottle charge.  On the second bottle we negotiated from 60,000 CFA (about $120) for a bottle of Moet to 50,000 (about $100). 

So the next time you are in Abidjan, do not stay in the hotel!  Find something to do, somewhere to go and be seen!  Abidjan does not sleep and I have come to understand that the club or bar closes when the last customer leaves.  Dress to impress and hit the streets!

If you are in Abidjan I welcome comments, commentary, feedback and other suggestions!

The Friendzone Myth

"What if I told you most guys friend zone themselves?" There is a current myth that women place men to whom they have no romantic or even sexual attraction to in this dating purgatory called the 'friend zone.'  While this may happen, in my experience, the men I have placed in this purgatory have many times placed themselves there with things they have or have not said, done or not done. 

Gents, there is a fine line between flirting and being inappropriate.  There is also a fine line between letting a woman know you are interested and being a stalker.  If / when you cross these lines you may drop into the bottomless friend zone pit.  Not our fault - you put yourself there.  And sadly, the odds of you finding your way out of this abyss is pretty slim.

"What did I say?!"  "What did I do?!" you may ask.  Let me provide some examples which may provide some insight:

1) We have recently met, the attraction is clear and so now we are talking on the phone, over text and email  trying to get to know each other.  One night we were talking about the latest cell phone or gadget when all of a sudden you say, "Speaking of gadgets, do you masturbate a lot?" Very inappropriate moment.  We are not there!   THANK YOU FOR VISITING.  YOU MAY NOW POLITELY ENTER THE FRIEND ZONE - ASSOCIATE LEVEL.  On this level, we may reply with one word, to be nice.

2) We have been getting to know each other for a while, again, the attraction is clear from both parties and we start flirting.  Giggles, the "I would love to see you" comments, blushing, all quite innocent really.  Just enough to make a woman wonder - get her imagination running.  Sexy.  We hang up, I am still smiling thinking "Yes, I wonder ..." when my phone vibrates.  Oh how sweet - a message from the potential beau - maybe he is saying "good night beautiful..."  I open the message, still smiling ... and there before my innocent eyes is a photo of your penis.  WHAT IN THE DAMN?!  Unless the female initiates sexting, keep that to yourself!  Things were going so good - I thought of you as a gentleman I would like to get to know.  Now I know too much and ... THANK YOU FOR VISITING.  YOU MAY NOW POLITELY ENTER THE FRIEND ZONE - ASSOCIATE LEVEL. On this level, I will say hi to you if I see you on the street.  I will ignore all texts, calls and emails.

3) We have been talking for two weeks, quite often.  There is mutual flirting and more than once I have hinted that I would like to see you.  The conversation continues - it is light, funny, I am entertained, I am interested.  We say our goodbyes, our 'talk to you laters' and we hang up and I still do not have a date.  This is only going to happen so many times.  I am only going to show you I am interested without progress for only so long.  A month passes, still no date.  THANK YOU FOR VISITING.  YOU MAY NOW POLITELY ENTER THE FRIEND ZONE - FRIEND LEVEL.  I am not mad at you, you have done nothing to hurt or offend me.  But the message I have heard loud and clear is you want to be MY FRIEND and so I comply.

Fast Forward 30 days.

4) It has been a month since we have spoken.  I get the following text, "Hey beautiful!  I miss you.  Would you like to hang out sometime?" I reply, "Awww thanks.  I have been good and you?"  Notice I did not reply, "Yes, I would love to hang out." or "Hey, handsome, I have missed you too!"  Yeah because I dont.  You are in that abyss of the friend zone and I have not given you a second thought.  Too little, too late.  Besides, it has been 30 days.  A smart woman knows you had another chic you were interested in, that did not work out and so here you come trying to repair your ego with the woman you knew was interested.  A real woman knows she deserves better than that and does not allow you to escape the friend zone abyss you willingly jumped into.

5) We are actually JUST FRIENDS.  I do not realize you have feelings for me because you have said nothing or shown any interest through your actions.  You tell your friends how you feel and yet you have said nothing to me.  We are not in high school - MAN UP!  If you do not want to be in the friend zone then do not apply for entry!  And the worse part?  When you tell us, "You know I was in love you back in the day."  Oh really?!  Cuz I didn't know - you never told me!  Matter of fact, your best friend, who you told, I dated him.  Cuz he manned up!  Do not invite me to events in a group - FRIEND ZONE ENTRY.  Do not try to set me up with other dudes - FRIEND ZONE ENTRY.  And when you tell us how you felt back in the day, you do have a 50% chance of hearing some good news, "ME TOO!..." followed by, "I wish I had known ..." FRIEND ZONE RESIDENT.  Womp Womp

The point of this public announcement is to debunk the friend zone myth.  We do not simply place all men there - many times, men, you jump into this space.  And if you are in this friend zone, suffering as you watch me date, kiss and talk about other men, then be a man and EXIT THE ZONE!  There is no rule that you have to stay.  If being my friend is painful because I see you as nothing more, you deserve better and you will not find that while sulking in the friend zone with me.

Destination: Lusaka and Livingstone, Zambia

I have finally made it to Zambia!  I heard so much about this country from colleagues and friends who were lucky enough to visit the country previously and so I was excited to make this the 11th African country I have been blessed to visit! 

Lusaka is the capital city of Zambia and has a population of approximately 1.4M!  There are over 73 dialects spoken in Zambia but the official language is English.  Interestingly there is no historical city centre but there are plenty of hotels and places to shop.  A colleague advised me that in the years she has been living here she has witnessed 3 - 4 new malls built!  The weather is perfect.  Sorry DMV family but it is.  In the day it is a spring-like 80F with no humidity and plenty of sun.  At night it is 65-70F with a cool breeze.  Like I said, perfect.

 

View from my room at Radisson Blu

This past weekend my colleague and I spent the weekend in Livingstone. We decided to take the 7pm bus from Lusaka.  The bus ticket is 112 - 140 kwacha (approximately $20 - $24) one way.  You can buy your ticket at the bus terminal in Lusaka.  We were fortunate enough that concierge at our hotel purchased the ticket while we were at work.  It is approximately a 7 hour ride and so we arrived at 2am.  Of course we rested and were up early in the morning for breakfast with a view and to start our day at Victoria Falls.

Statue of David Livington

The town is named after Dr. David Livingstone, the first European to see, name and publicize the Falls. The Scottish explorer's journey and " first sight" of the Falls in 1855 opened up Central Africa to other missionaries, hunters, and traders.  I put this in quotes as people were living in the region before he saw The Falls.  However, this was their home - something they simply enjoyed as a part of everyday life.  The original inhabitants saw no need nor had the means to publicize the beautiful natural wonder of the world.  Formally, Livingstone was founded in 1905 at a safe distance from the then swampy banks of the Zambezi.

While in Livingstone, we stayed at the Maramba River Lodge (http://www.maramba-zambia.com/index.php) which was located 4km from Victoria Falls.  It was quite nice.  You had the option to stay in a luxury tent, a chalet, safari or dome tents.  I, of course, stayed in a chalet.  It was a small cabin in the middle of a national park known for elephant trails and wildlife sightings.  Because we arrived after the rainy season many of the animals were further out grazing on the newly sprouted vegetarian. The Lodge is situated on a bluff overlooking the Maramba River which provides for a nice view any time of day by the bar or their restaurant.   They also have a cozy lounge where one can read, sit or enjoy conversation around a fire place in the winter.  The rate was reasonable for the chalet at 689 kwacha/per night (approximately $112/per night). We did not spend much time in the hotel as we, of course, were there to visit Victoria Falls!

The Victoria falls are also known as "Mosi oa-Tunya" which means "the smoke that thunders".  This Natural Wonders of the World offers breath-taking views that are almost too spectacular to describe.  We decided to go with a tour guide.  That cost us 300 kwacha (approximately $55) but his fee included the 120 kwacha ($20) fee to enter the Victoria Falls National Park.  The pass is good for 1 day.  To hike the park only took two hours.  Note, you can rent a rain poncho and plastic shoes for 10 kwacha each (approximately $1.60).  DO NOT wear something you do not want to get wet to include nice tennis shoes or leather sandals.  Ladies, do not even bother putting on make up.  Photographers, bring waterproof camera bag and/or camera.  Do NOT bring your cell phone or any electronic outside of a waterproof bag as it will be ruined.  Finally, be ready to simply enjoy the amazing view, double rainbows, the cool spray of the falls, walking through puddles, taking photos and peering across the falls to those on-lookers on the Zimbabwe side of the majestic falls.

 

After visiting the falls, we returned to the lodge for lunch, hydration and an afternoon nap because that night we enjoyed a sunset booze cruise.  For 395 kwacha (approximately $64) we enjoyed a 2.5 hour sunset cruise on the Zambezi river.  We enjoyed snacks and all you can drink as well as the singing talents of fellow female passengers enjoying the cruise at the end of a National Secretaries Conference in Livingstone.  Our 'go to bartender' was Godfrey who introduced us to the "Godfrey Special" with the adult ingredient of "Cane Liquor" which is a locally produced liquor made from sugar cane, similar to white rum.  So delicious going down (reminded us of orange Gatorade) - that Godfrey Special.  The next morning ... that would make me re-evaluate enjoying this locally manufactured sugar cane poison.  But alas, we lived.

Mosi - local beer

Godfrey with Cane Liquor and the Godfrey Special in hand

Sunset on the Zambezi - Zimbabwe side

We saw a HIPPO!

After enjoying the sunset booze cruise, we met with couple from London and decided to hit the streets of Livingstone for some dancing!  The first place was Fez Lounge.  OK if you want to run into every ex-pat in Livingstone and hear American Top 40, this is your place. Since we did not, we walked the streets until we heard live local music.  No idea the name of the place, but we decided to go in and enjoy!  We stayed out way past our bedtime (1:30am) since we were scheduled to catch the 9am bus back to Lusaka, but we only had one weekend to enjoy Livingstone and I would say we definitely did.  If you are ever in Zambia, a visit to Livingstone and Victoria Falls is an absolute MUST.  This area can be quite pricey so plan to bring 1000 kwacha for spending / excursions a day.  We spent approximately 2350 kwacha (approximately $366) for the weekend which excludes meals and drinks.  Not cheap but absolutely worth every thing we paid.  Please enjoy more photos from our weekend in Livingstone below!

Marambe River

Zambezi - Zambia side

Sunset cruise

Rainbow at Victoria Falls

Victoria Falls Bridge -  crosses the Zambezi River just below the Victoria Falls and is built over the Second Gorge of the falls. As the river is the border between Zimbabwe and Zambia, the bridge links the two countries and has border posts on the approaches to both ends, at the towns of Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe and Livingstone, Zambia.

Lucky DOUBLE rainbow at Victoria Falls