Pubic Hair Protocol?

What is pubic hair customer service protocol in the hospitality industry?  Read yet another True Story Moment and advise me of what you would have done and / or expected the hotel to do.

Now the classy would not mention the hotel name, but I’m a classy/trashy hybrid so … I am currently on assignment in Maputo, Mozambique.  While I am here the All African Games (the African version of the Olympics ~ Blacks are everywhere in ever shade!) are in town and so hotel rooms were limited.  The only hotel which had rooms available was the Pestana Rovuma in the used to be classy but is now torn down and trashy (aka “historic”) heart of Maputo, Mozambique.   

This is not my first time to Africa and I am familiar with third world living as a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer so why was I fooled by the “4 Star” rating given to this hotel … or as was claimed on their seizure inducing website (**DISCLAIMER:  epileptics should not visit this site, seriously. **) . (http://www.pestana.com/hotels/en/hotels/africa/MaputoHotels/Rovuma/Home/)

I should have expected miscellaneous pubic hairs all over the room as I inspected it – even the shower curtain bore black mildew stains and the ceiling has extensive water damage.  Moving right along, I called Housekeeping to request a wash cloth so that I may wash my face for the night.  Thirty minutes later there was a knock at my door and the light brown wash cloth was handed over in a friendly manner.  We exchanged “good night” and I went on my way to wash my face.  I looked down at the wash cloth and staring me in the face was a curly short black hair.  I stood there in disbelief and then inspected it again; sure enough it was still there, along with friends.  Now I am disgusted and dropped the wash cloth to avoid transference of any kind ~ I don’t want a stranger’s pubic hair on my person!

I called the front desk and told them I needed another wash cloth – three in fact, just in case.  Of course, he inquired as to why and I had to tell him, “I found pubic hairs on the one that was brought up to my room earlier.”  Now, in America how would this have been answered when staying at a 4 star hotel?  I would like to think the response would be something like, “I am so sorry.  Three wash clothes are on the way.  I will speak to housekeeping immediately to ensure this does not happen again.”  But this was not the response I received at this prestigious “4 star” hotel in Maputo, Mozambique.  Instead, after an awkward pause, he answered, “Ma’am, many Africans are staying at the hotel and we have short hair all over our body.  How can you be sure it is from that region?”  I fixed my mouth to say “What the f*ck?”  But the Christian spirit rained upon me and I laughed and then said, “Sir, I don’t want to wash any part of my body with a cloth which contains hair from any region from a stranger’s body.  Please send me three more wash cloths.  Thank you.”  I gently hung up the phone and had to laugh again.  WHO says that?!   

This begs the question to those who may work in the hospitality field, what is pubic hair protocol?  Is there a section in your manual, maybe in the housekeeping section?  Maybe those of you in this industry can bring it up at the next staff meeting to see how this question should be answered in the future, should it happen at your hotel/motel.  

Needless to say I will be bringing my own towels, wash clothes and linens when staying at any “4 star” hotel in Africa because apparently these are the equivalent of our Motel 8s.

LaKoketa