After an intense, passion-filled romance with a man who took my heart from my body and then proceeded to mash it up and fry it twice like some damn tostones*, (perhaps we shall blog about him another day) ... I had met someone else.
** Fattie side note: tostones are a delicious treat made of green plantains. Popular in the Caribbean, here is a recipe: http://www.dominicancooking.com/301-tostones-flattened-fried-plantains.html **
As we were saying, I had met someone else.
I met William in Ethiopia. He was the drummer in a cover band playing at the Sheraton in Addis Ababa. We only exchanged "hello" while his female band member complimented me on my pretty face and "curvaceous ass." It was March 11. I remember because it would've been Adam's 32nd birthday.
The next day I ran into him again in a popular restaurant. I didn't recognize him at first but he and another band member came over and introduced themselves. As the conversation continued we found out the band was actually from DC/MD, was there for 3 months and what nights they played. I promised I would come see them perform once more before I left Ethiopia. I kept that promise.
A week later, Friday March 18, 2011 several ladies I met the previous week and I went to see them play. During the break William came over, greeted our table, chatted a little and then proceeded back to the stage to play the second set. As a true single lady of the millennium, I had several business cards in my purse with my personal phone number written in my best penmanship on the back of each card. If William asked me for my number I was prepared!
He did ask and I handed him that card. Two days later I went to Zimbabwe. The band played on in Ethiopia for another two months.
He sent me a text message when he came home...I was on my way out of country again! He continued to send messages to see if I was ok. Then I came home and he finally asked to take me to dinner. Our first date was June 8.
I honestly did not feel like going. I was so over men -- in 5 days I had been stood up once and annoyed by another who asked me out but didn't bother to call for 5 days - until the day of - I canceled when he called to "confirm". Men just weren't putting in any effort and I was slowly slipping into giving up on dating entirely. But I had a date planned tonight with William.
It was 2pm and I had still not heard from William. He had yet to confirm where he wanted to meet and at what time. I said to myself if he didn't call by 4pm the date was off and I would give up on dating for a while. William called me at 4:20pm. I was annoyed and wanted to cancel but on the advice of a colleague decided to just go out, have a good time and enjoy his company with no expectations. He decided to go to Palomar in Arlington. We were to meet at 730pm.
Dinner and the view from the Palomar (http://www.hotelpalomar-arlington.com/) in Arlington was amazing! My first impression was: he's quiet, seems a bit shy but really sweet and genuine. He made eye contact when he spoke to me, a quality I truly appreciate in a person. On the walk to my car he made sure he was the one that walked on the side closest to the street and he opened my car door, waited until I was inside and then closed it after I was buckled in. He was a gentleman. I realized I was glad I had come out tonight.
As I dropped him off at his car I didn't want him to go. I was drawn to him. I wanted to keep talking to him but he had an errand he had to run in DC. I was prepared to say good night and be disappointed but instead he invited me and we went to see his friend play jazz on U St. in DC. It was there I met 2 of his friends. It was there he bought me 5 roses from a man who walked in selling bouquets. It was there I challenged him to bowling. It was there I realized again I still didn't want the night to end but it was 1230a and I had to work the next day...
We drove from DC back to Rosslyn to his car. We sat in my car and talked until 230am. I was a little tipsy and decided to put all my baggage out there. "I have severe trust issues when it comes to men..." I gave him names of those that had hurt me and how. I needed him to know what he was getting into if he decided to move forward. He didn't flinch or jump out of my car. Instead he says to me "You will never understand men and all men are dogs."
Apparently, ladies, all men are dogs, there are just different pedigrees:
The street dog - this dog will sleep anywhere and bang anything and be gone the next morning.
The disloyal house dog - this dog will pretend for a short while to be faithful. It appreciates routine for a short period of time and loves the constant attention of loyalty of its female "owner." But once its tired of being faithful and locked up in one house, it will wander off and find a new female "owner" to play with ...
The loyal pure bred - this is the high standard dog. It knows on which side its bread is buttered. He appreciates and does not take for granted the care and loyalty provided by its female. The pure bred therefore stays "put" and returns that care and love - in good, bad, easy and scary times - yes, like the faithful Great Dane, Scooby Doo.
William finishes with, "You are dealing with a pure bred..." He went on to "educate" me about the different breeds of men and to say that the things I'm looking for in a man:
#1: consistency
#2: consideration
#3: a communicator
#4: honest about what you are communicating
#5: sexually compatible
He said what I wanted in a man are "basic." He continued to say that he could promise me the first four as we get to know each other plus more. He also mentioned that he was looking to settle down so he took the dating process seriously as he expected his next girlfriend to be his wife so #5 on my list would come during stage 2 if we got that far. He further explained the stages: stage 1: friends that hang out to ensure compatibility, stage 2: exclusive, monogamous relationship and stage 3 marriage. Ok so he may be serious when he says he's ready to settle down!
After this long conversation, neither of us seemed scared off by what the other had to say. We hugged and went on our separate ways at 230am. I thought about everything he said. During our conversation I had ensured him I would not have walls built against him and that he would start with a "clean slate" and this is truly my goal. I've been wrong so many times but I felt such a calm around him - at peace - no walls necessary. He's under the impression that walls are there, but they aren't, not even a layer. He's my last pure effort in being a true blue romantic and optimist. If he fails me ... I don't even want to put such a vibe out there so as I drove away I prayed under my breath, "please don't fail me William...you are my last exception..." Paramore, The Only Exception: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7J_IWUhls
Part II: The course of true love never did run smooth
** Fattie side note: tostones are a delicious treat made of green plantains. Popular in the Caribbean, here is a recipe: http://www.dominicancooking.com/301-tostones-flattened-fried-plantains.html **
As we were saying, I had met someone else.
I met William in Ethiopia. He was the drummer in a cover band playing at the Sheraton in Addis Ababa. We only exchanged "hello" while his female band member complimented me on my pretty face and "curvaceous ass." It was March 11. I remember because it would've been Adam's 32nd birthday.
The next day I ran into him again in a popular restaurant. I didn't recognize him at first but he and another band member came over and introduced themselves. As the conversation continued we found out the band was actually from DC/MD, was there for 3 months and what nights they played. I promised I would come see them perform once more before I left Ethiopia. I kept that promise.
A week later, Friday March 18, 2011 several ladies I met the previous week and I went to see them play. During the break William came over, greeted our table, chatted a little and then proceeded back to the stage to play the second set. As a true single lady of the millennium, I had several business cards in my purse with my personal phone number written in my best penmanship on the back of each card. If William asked me for my number I was prepared!
He did ask and I handed him that card. Two days later I went to Zimbabwe. The band played on in Ethiopia for another two months.
He sent me a text message when he came home...I was on my way out of country again! He continued to send messages to see if I was ok. Then I came home and he finally asked to take me to dinner. Our first date was June 8.
I honestly did not feel like going. I was so over men -- in 5 days I had been stood up once and annoyed by another who asked me out but didn't bother to call for 5 days - until the day of - I canceled when he called to "confirm". Men just weren't putting in any effort and I was slowly slipping into giving up on dating entirely. But I had a date planned tonight with William.
It was 2pm and I had still not heard from William. He had yet to confirm where he wanted to meet and at what time. I said to myself if he didn't call by 4pm the date was off and I would give up on dating for a while. William called me at 4:20pm. I was annoyed and wanted to cancel but on the advice of a colleague decided to just go out, have a good time and enjoy his company with no expectations. He decided to go to Palomar in Arlington. We were to meet at 730pm.
Dinner and the view from the Palomar (http://www.hotelpalomar-arlington.com/) in Arlington was amazing! My first impression was: he's quiet, seems a bit shy but really sweet and genuine. He made eye contact when he spoke to me, a quality I truly appreciate in a person. On the walk to my car he made sure he was the one that walked on the side closest to the street and he opened my car door, waited until I was inside and then closed it after I was buckled in. He was a gentleman. I realized I was glad I had come out tonight.
As I dropped him off at his car I didn't want him to go. I was drawn to him. I wanted to keep talking to him but he had an errand he had to run in DC. I was prepared to say good night and be disappointed but instead he invited me and we went to see his friend play jazz on U St. in DC. It was there I met 2 of his friends. It was there he bought me 5 roses from a man who walked in selling bouquets. It was there I challenged him to bowling. It was there I realized again I still didn't want the night to end but it was 1230a and I had to work the next day...
We drove from DC back to Rosslyn to his car. We sat in my car and talked until 230am. I was a little tipsy and decided to put all my baggage out there. "I have severe trust issues when it comes to men..." I gave him names of those that had hurt me and how. I needed him to know what he was getting into if he decided to move forward. He didn't flinch or jump out of my car. Instead he says to me "You will never understand men and all men are dogs."
Apparently, ladies, all men are dogs, there are just different pedigrees:
The street dog - this dog will sleep anywhere and bang anything and be gone the next morning.
William finishes with, "You are dealing with a pure bred..." He went on to "educate" me about the different breeds of men and to say that the things I'm looking for in a man:
#1: consistency
#2: consideration
#3: a communicator
#4: honest about what you are communicating
#5: sexually compatible
He said what I wanted in a man are "basic." He continued to say that he could promise me the first four as we get to know each other plus more. He also mentioned that he was looking to settle down so he took the dating process seriously as he expected his next girlfriend to be his wife so #5 on my list would come during stage 2 if we got that far. He further explained the stages: stage 1: friends that hang out to ensure compatibility, stage 2: exclusive, monogamous relationship and stage 3 marriage. Ok so he may be serious when he says he's ready to settle down!
After this long conversation, neither of us seemed scared off by what the other had to say. We hugged and went on our separate ways at 230am. I thought about everything he said. During our conversation I had ensured him I would not have walls built against him and that he would start with a "clean slate" and this is truly my goal. I've been wrong so many times but I felt such a calm around him - at peace - no walls necessary. He's under the impression that walls are there, but they aren't, not even a layer. He's my last pure effort in being a true blue romantic and optimist. If he fails me ... I don't even want to put such a vibe out there so as I drove away I prayed under my breath, "please don't fail me William...you are my last exception..." Paramore, The Only Exception: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7J_IWUhls
Part II: The course of true love never did run smooth
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