Saturday William and I ended our relationship. Sometimes two good individuals are not good together. And while there may be love there, love is not enough to maintain a relationship. So much more is needed in the ingredients of the "glue" that keep a couple together long term. And when various main ingredients are missing (i.e. communication) the "glue" is bound to be a child safe sticky Elmers glue versus a "super bonding" glue. Some individuals are better loving each other separately. William allowed me to see where in my life I can be a better person and I know I have grown while being near him for which I will always be grateful. I also have a ton of happy memories which were shared with this man ... too many for me to be bitter in any way.
And just when I thought that William would be the only one I would have to say "goodbye" to I had to also say "goodbye" to my colleague Amaka Ojugbana of Nigeria.
Amaka and her 10 month old son, Christopher, died suddenly as their plane crashed on Saturday in Nigeria - 11 miles from their destination. When I met her in 2009 she was a training participant who spent the breaks planning her upcoming wedding to the love of her life. She was not the most focused participant, needless to say, but she would "glow" even though she was stressed planning a wedding so far away from home and her fiancee. In 2010 the Nigerian field office hosted me for the first time as a colleague and I came to provide training and an internal file review. During work hours Amaka and I did not always see eye to eye but she was determined to make sure I experienced the best of being a woman in Abuja: dresses and getting my hair done. She said Nigeria was the first "real African country" I had been to as she did not count the plush South Africa as a true "African experience." She insisted I get a true African dress made and braids to "prove" I had experienced Africa on this trip. I had spoken to her Friday about a work matter and to wish her safe travels ...
This has taught me is LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE:
And just when I thought that William would be the only one I would have to say "goodbye" to I had to also say "goodbye" to my colleague Amaka Ojugbana of Nigeria.
Amaka and her 10 month old son, Christopher, died suddenly as their plane crashed on Saturday in Nigeria - 11 miles from their destination. When I met her in 2009 she was a training participant who spent the breaks planning her upcoming wedding to the love of her life. She was not the most focused participant, needless to say, but she would "glow" even though she was stressed planning a wedding so far away from home and her fiancee. In 2010 the Nigerian field office hosted me for the first time as a colleague and I came to provide training and an internal file review. During work hours Amaka and I did not always see eye to eye but she was determined to make sure I experienced the best of being a woman in Abuja: dresses and getting my hair done. She said Nigeria was the first "real African country" I had been to as she did not count the plush South Africa as a true "African experience." She insisted I get a true African dress made and braids to "prove" I had experienced Africa on this trip. I had spoken to her Friday about a work matter and to wish her safe travels ...
This has taught me is LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE:
- NOT FINDING A REASON TO SMILE EVERY SINGLE DAY
- WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK
- CRYING MORE THAN LAUGHING
- AT HOME WHEN YOU CAN BE OUT EXPERIENCING LIFE
- STRESSED ABOUT THE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE
- ARGUING ABOUT THE "LITTLE STUFF"
- NOT EXPRESSING LOVE
- NOT TELLING SOMEONE YOU MISS / NEED THEM
- NOT APOLOGIZING
- NOT LETTING GO / HOLDING GRUDGES and above all ...
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| Chinero, myself and Amaka. May you rest in peace. |
