Friday, November 1, 2013

My Mother's First Visit to South Africa: The Scenic Route

 On Tuesday October 1, Ingrid's friend kindly volunteered to take us on a scenic drive around Chapman's Peak.  Chapman’s Peak winds it way between Noordhoek and Hout Bay on the Atlantic Coast on the south-western tip of South Africa. It is definitely one of the most spectacular drives in the world!  During the drive we stopped several times.  Our first stop was to enjoy a glass of sparkling wine and the view of Camp's Bay.  Camp's Bay is an affluent suburb with perfect views of white sandy beaches kissed by the wild blue waves of the ocean.  It is also known for its amazing nightlife and mountain-side mansions. 
Ingrid and I sharing a view of Camp's Bay
Mom posing with Camp's Bay in the distance

Panoramic view - Camp's Bay

After the sparkling wine was finished, we hoped back in the car and continued our drive around Chapman's Peak.  Words are not necessary to describe the beauty of the views along this drive.  Let the photos speak for themselves ...
Lovers write their name and proclamation of love on the bricks seen at the bottom right hand corner


A cyclist enjoys a sun-kissed rest

Chris, Ingrid and I enjoying the view

Mom and I enjoying the view

Mom and Ingrid enjoying the view
After enjoying the breath-taking views that Chapman's Peak had to offer we stopped briefly at an Ostrich Ranch.  Interesting.  For some reason the ostrich, behind the fence, decided to walk deceitfully slowly to the other end of the pen, look at me and then run - run quite fast I might add - right toward me!   I panicked and jumped as far as I could from the fence.  The ostrich stopped abruptly, coming inches away from the fence.  Clearly it was toying with me.

After the ostrich ranch we decided it was time for lunch.  We stopped at the Blue Marlin Restaurant for lunch.  I had my revenge and insisted Mom order the ostrich curry for lunch.  It was delicious!  If you are looking for a lean red meat to add to your diet ~ ostrich is it!  Benefits besides being delicious: ostrich meat is low in fat and cholesterol, as well as high in calcium, protein and iron!
Mom and I at Blue Marlin Restaurant


The ladies nice and full after lunch!


















Boulder Beach
After lunch came the CUTEST part of the tour:  Boulder Beach to see the African penguins!  The African penguins are endangered and confined to live near Southern African waters.  It is also known as the 'jackass' penguin as it makes a loud, harsh donkey like sound when excited!  Interestingly, the African penguin is monogamous!  It breeds with the same male or female for a life time returning to their breeding site each mating season.

Returning from time in the water

Beached penguins

Lifetime mates

Mom and I pose with the penguins
It was an amazing day full of spectacular views, peaceful moments and "awwww"s as we observed the penguins.  If you are ever in Cape Town this drive is an absolute MUST DO!  But take it from me ~ charge your camera and phone the night before.  You do not want to miss one moment during this drive.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My Mother's First Visit to South Africa: Robben Island

It is Mom's first trip to South Africa and a visit to Robben Island is a must while we are in Cape Town.

Before boarding the ferry Mom and I stopped at a small cafe on the waterfront for breakfast.  Mom and I enjoyed the most delicious bacon and cheese croissant.  Mom enjoyed a white hot chocolate while I enjoyed a vanilla rooibos tea. 

We board the ferry and start the 25 minute journey across Table Bay toward Robben Island.  While on the ferry they play a short video giving all of us on board a short history of the island.  To Mom's surprise it was not always used to imprison political prisoners.  It was a training and defense station during World War II (1939-1945).   As there was no cure and little effective treatment available for leprosy, mental illness and other chronic illnesses in the 1800s, Robben Island was also utilized as a place of quarantine for such patients (1846-1931).  Eventually Robben Island began to be utilized for criminal imprisonment.  And during apartheid enter political prisoners.

The first part of the tour takes place at the Robert Sobukwe house.  Robert Sobukwe was not considered a prisoner, but instead the only “detainee” of the island. Sobukwe's powers of persuasion and political leanings frightened the authorities  and therefore, during his time in jail, a new law,  'Sobukwe Clause', was enacted allowing the Minister of Justice to renew his imprisonment each year at his discretion which he did for the next 6 years.  The 'Sobukwe Clause' was never used on anyone else.  During his solitary confinement Sobukwe had a small house, but also two wardens.  He couldn’t speak to anyone, and could only walk between the four fences.  The solitude eventually affected his ability to talk but he continued to write letters to his wife.  When allowed his wife and children were able to visit but this was not always permitted. 

Bed and bedside table of Sobukwe

Photos of Sobukwe's four children and the beds they slept on during visits to their father.

Mom reading the history of Robert Mangaliso Sobukwe
View of Table Mountain from Robben Island

After the visit to the Sobukwe house, we were given a tour of the prison.  As we circle the island we learn more about the history of the island.  In the distance prisoners were able to view Table Mountain.  This view provided hope for the prisoners, hope of being able to again be free on the mainland.

The tour is given to visitors by ex-political prisoners. Our tour guide was a political prisoner for 9 years for the crime of recruiting young men and women to fight verbally, and with arms if necessary, against apartheid.  He spoke slowly and every detail was animated with his hands.  He was a prisoner in the maximum security prison, Block F.  He received a special ration of food especially measured for the political prisoners.  He was only allowed 30 minutes activity time which he spent playing soccer in a worn field where rocks were more abundant than grass.  He spent his days in the hot sun in the limestone quarry utilizing worn tools to break down the rock every day with little rest or water to
Our tour guide
quench his thirst.  Grown men forced to ask for a bathroom break (which could have been refused) and then relieve themselves in a bucket within a cave located in the quarry.  However, a 'university' was born in that quarry.  Political prisoners on Robben Island working day to day in a quarry that was meant to break them down mentally became place of education.  Political prisoners included judges, lawyers, professors and other educated minds.  Prisoners in the quarry became thirsty to learn.  Sticks for pencils, the sand their chalkboard, prisoners learned math, reading and writing in this hot limestone quarry.  And it was not only the prisoners taking advantage ~ guards also took advantage of the lessons taught by these brilliant minds.  Prisoners entered Robben Island illiterate or with basic literacy abilities and left with the ability to read and write. 
Limestone quarry

Our tour guide described his experience as a prisoner in Block F:  their beds were meager mats on cold, hard floors; windows with cracks allowed cold, rain and heat into the large, crowded room; Black prisoners' wardrobe which consisted of shorts, short sleeve shirts - no socks, no jackets and no shoes.  Their body exposed to the cold winter kiss or hot suffocating summer hug from Mother Nature.  
Mat on the floor which served as a bed for prisoners in Block F.

After sharing his experience, our guide led us to  Block B which housed prisoner 466/64, otherwise known as Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, for 18 years.  In the winter of 1964, Nelson Mandela arrived on Robben Island.  This powerful, charismatic political prisoner was confined to a small cell - a thin mat on the floor was his bed, a bucket his toilet and he too was forced to do hard labor in the limestone quarry. Nelson Mandela was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes.  He could write and receive one letter every six months, letters which were heavily edited prior to being sent or received.
Prison cell of prisoner 466/64 - Nelson Mandela.
The cell is kept closed and locked.  Photos are taken through the bars.  The only tourist allowed to enter the cell, take a moment and then a photo inside this historic location is President Obama.

There is not much to say after a tour of Robben Island.  The ferry ride was silent and pensive.  It is my second tour of the island and I am still taken aback by the cruelty and degradation the political prisoners experienced.  On our way out of the prison I shook the hand of our tour guide and asked him how it felt to be back and give daily tours.  I was ignorantly under the impression he too left the island to go home to his family after a day of tours.  He informed me that he now lives on the island in a small house afforded him as a tour guide.  The same island on which he was a prisoner, held there legally and by force, is now his home.  He lives alone, no family.  His neighbors are other tour guides, other ex-political prisoners.  He wakes up every day to share his experience with tourists who flock to the island.  Tourists who will never truly "experience" the island - who arrive willingly and leave for the mainland once the tour is complete.  If you're ever in Cape Town, take the time - take the journey to Robben Island, "island of seals" and the home of numerous ex-political prisoners who sacrificed their freedom for the freedom South Africans, of every color, experience today.
Ariel view of Robben Island

Sunday, October 13, 2013

My Mother's First Visit to South Africa: Arrival into Cape Town

Saturday, September 28 was my brother's 32nd birthday.  This was the same day Mom and I arrived into Cape Town.

How do I introduce Cape Town to my Mother?  By introducing her to RUGBY!  My colleague and friend, John Vivalo, introduced me and a group of training participants to rugby with tickets to a live match in Pretoria in 2010.  I was instantly drawn in.  How can a woman not be drawn to rugby?  Un-padded, well-built men running around in tight shorts showing off their muscular thighs and well sculpted calves ... even the water boy is built like an ancient Roman sculpture.
 

I digress (and take a moment to fantasize) ... back to the story ...

Ingrid, Mom and I venture to the Quay Four.  The bar is filled with South African men adorned in Springbok athletic jerseys with the exception of one man who is wearing a pink shirt, shirt and blond wig, celebrating his upcoming nuptials.
Ummmm congrats are in order?
Explaining rugby rules

We find a seat, order drinks, dinner and enjoy the game.  Ingrid and I explain the rules of the game to mom as the game goes along.  After the Springobok's victory, enter a local band.  Ingrid and I never pass up a chance to dance! dance! dance!  Mom finds herself enjoying a locally brewed beer (Black Label) and joining us as the band plays classic O'Jays, Frankie Beverly and Mayes, Prince, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley.  At midnight we leave the bar as we have a full day of wine tasting ahead of us on Sunday...
Hello Ingrid!

She didnt let that Black Label go! haha

Someone we met on the dance floor!


Sunday, September 29 Ingrid and I decided in introduce Mom to Delheim wine farm located in Stellenbosch.  I chose this farm for their gorgeous, relaxing views and atmosphere.  It is very much a family orientated farm where you can find vast fields perfect for a picnic, children playing with the Jack Russells on the property as their parents relax and sip award winning wines.  "Worth the Journey" is definitely is and on a perfect Sunday afternoon Mom, Ingrid and I enjoy a wine tasting (choose 6 for 25 rand) and a platter filled with cheese, savory and sweet spreads as well as a smoked game.   On the way home we stop in the small town of Stellenbosch where we purchase gelato.  We enjoy the sweet treat as we quietly enjoy the beautiful sunset on the way home.

A literal warm welcome into Delheim with Glühwein or mulled wine.


After an amazing weekend Mom and I were ready for Monday.  While Ingrid must go to work I have planned a day tour of Robben Island for Mom and I ...

Sawubona! Ngikhona!: My Mother's First Visit to South Africa ~ Johannesburg

For over 4 years I have been blessed to visit South Africa every six months.  And finally, late last year, I convinced my mother to visit as well.  This was not only her first time in South Africa, but also on the continent of Africa.  Sawubona! (Zulu greeting meaning "I see you").  Africa the continent, South Africa the country, sees you Mother and it was therefore my mission to ensure my Mom sees Her too.

I was in Johannesburg for work so the timing of her trip was perfect!  Mom landed in Johannesburg Wednesday, September 25 after a 19 hour direct flight from Washington DC (IAD) to Johannesburg, South Africa.  Upon landing I hired a S-Class Mercedes to pick her up from the airport.  I was still working but wanted to ensure she was greeted properly and so when she entered the room she found slippers, a terry cloth robe, hazelnut creme filled chocolates, South African cheese variety, nuts, two 1/2 bottles of sparkling wine, a bottle of Pinotage and water waiting for her.  Everything she may need to relax after a long flight and a much needed hot shower. 

The next day, Thursday September 26 I sent her on a full day tour of Johannesburg and Soweto.  No need for her to stay in while I work!  The full day tour included a visit to the Apartheid Museum, Mandela House, a township in Soweto and the Hector Pieterson Museum.  She returned from the tour informed and excited to learn more about South Africa.
The journey to FREEDOM seen during the tour of Johannesburg and Soweto.

Township in Soweto


A young boy stands in front of the Township

We had one more day in Johannesburg.  Thankfully my assignment ended early afternoon Friday, September 27 at 5pm and what better way to begin a vacation than in the spa!  Mom and I enjoyed lime / cucumber water in their relaxation room enveloped by a soft terry cloth robe and matching slippers.  After relaxing we were led to separate rooms where we spent 2 hours enjoying hot stone massages and facials.  After the spa we enjoyed a quiet dinner and packed our clothes.  We were mentally ready for our much needed vacation!

 


Ngikhona! (Zulu response to greeting meaning "I am here!").  My mother was indeed here ~ in Africa...in South Africa and we would have 8 more amazing days of information and relaxation in Cape Town.




Saturday, July 13, 2013

'Til Death Do You Part?

This morning I volunteered with the ladies (and 2 men) in the Singles Ministry at Grace Church.  We spent two hours at a nursing home in the area.  I expected to sit, chat and laugh with the residents.  Maybe play some bingo or do crafts in the common room. 

After checking in, we were paired up and on our way to spread smiles around the nursing home!  My 'buddy' and I sat with three interesting and animated women:  Ms. Pat from West Virginia, Ms. Ester from New Jersey and Ms. Mildred from North Carolina.  We entered each room with a "hello" and a smile across my face.  The three women opened up almost immediately returning the greeting and smiles.  They also spoke candidly, without a filter. And as women tend to do, they quickly inquired about our personal lives, and us into theirs.  And I am glad we experienced this exchange as I believe it enhanced our experience.  We not only experienced great conversation and laughter but also received some words of wisdom on LOVE and MARRIAGE.

Ms. Pat on love and marriage:  "Never get married!  I have been single for a long time and plan to die happily that way!"  When we asked Ms. Pat why she would say this she bluntly explained, "Because those muthaf*ckas change!  My husband was ugly, mean, selfish ..."  My 'buddy' asked her, "But you were in love once ... what made you fall in love with him?"  Ms Pat shared, "We met young - he was in the Navy.  I do not remember how we met but we were both from West Virginia.  His father was a Navy man too!  Oh he looked good in a uniform!  He was so handsome.  So sweet. Then he became a wife beater and the hands (pause) the hands he used to love me with he started putting around my neck.  He changed.  He went from loving me to beating me. (pause) I never cheated on him.  I was a married woman - married to a monster, but married.  I finally left.  Left to save the 5 kids we had.  I had to save the kids ..." she trailed off and silence followed for a few brief moments.  Just as abruptly as she started her advice, she ended it, moving on to discuss the pending verdict in the Zimmerman case which was on the TV in the background. Her candid advice and story made me think, "Do you ever know a person well enough to predict the changes which may occur in their personality as they grow older?"  Or do we miss key red flags because of their physical appearance, never looking past the superficial layer of skin to truly see into the heart and soul of a person?  Never taking time to notice key personality traits and how they express those:  how do they express love? hate? anger? Are you ok with how they express their emotions?  Change is to be expected - especially if you are with a person for a long period of time.  The key is KNOWING who you are dating and may marry. Advice which we received from Ms. Ester.

Ms. Ester on love and marriage: "Fish around!"  Her advice was specific:
  • "Know your man!  What does he like to do?  What does he like to eat?  Where does he like to go?  If a man feels as though you KNOW him, you will have him.  And when you have that fish on the line, slowly pull him in by being supportive of things he likes to do, cooking what he likes to eat and joining him in places he likes to go."
  • "Men love to be spoiled.  They are like babies.  They need to be fed, require lots of attention and when they 'cry' know what they want to shut them up!"
  • "Men love hair - keep your hair nice."
  • "Expect only two things:  respect and understanding.  Not love.  You may not love him every day and he may not love you everyday but if you understand each other - that is key.  And respect.  There are no 'bosses' in a marriage.  Understand how your mate is and respect that.  If you have those two things...happiness...and happiness is a good thing!" and finally, 
  • "Marry a man with money!  In a marriage you are going to need and want a lot of things.  A broke man can't do nothing for you!  (She ain't never lied!) Even if you both work, he needs to have some money!  And if you find this man with money, let me know if he has a grandfather!" I got you Ms. Ester! haha

When I asked Ms. Ester how many years she spent with her husband she said, "Too many to count.  One day I was graduating from high school and the next day I was married to my sweetheart. We were happy for a very long time (pause) ... until we divorced.  I cannot remember how long we were married when we divorced...he found someone else that he loved more than me.  And that was ok.  I understood him ... I was also doing my thing and he understood me.  I was not angry - it was ok."  It was the 'death' of fidelity and love which parted Ms. Ester from her husband.  Even though they divorced, Ms. Ester smiled when she spoke of her years in marriage.  By her story, respect and understanding survived which allowed the divorced to be as amicable as it could be. As Ms. Ester was telling her story I noticed the eyes of her roommate, Ms. Mildred.  She was staring off, blinking slowly as if she were in another place, her mind occupied.  What is on her mind?  What does she have to say about love and marriage?  There was 45 minutes left to visit and I planned to ask.  I am glad she was the last to speak on love and marriage ...


Ms. Mildred on  love and marriage:  Ms. Mildred is a quiet woman who recently celebrated her 101st birthday.  You would expect someone at her age to suffer from memory loss, loss of certain physical abilities and in pain.  But Ms. Mildred remained sitting straight up in her bed, sipping her chocolate Ensure for breakfast following our conversation with Ms. Ester offering moments of short chuckles and head nods.  She spoke clearly when addressed and made perfect lady like eye contact so that you knew she was listening to your every word.  After her roommate, Ester, finished sharing her advice on love and marriage I asked the 101-year old Mildred how many years she shared with her husband.  In a soft, but clear voice, she replied, "I cannot count the years of our marriage.  I have been married for a very long long time.  For as long as I can remember I have been one with that man."  She spoke of him in present tense even though her husband died many years ago.  The only jewelry she wore was a gold cross around her neck, no wedding ring, but his pictures and the pictures of their children, grand children and great grand children surrounded her.   She still remains 'one' with him through her memories and her heart.  While his body is physically not beside her as her husband, their love remains within her - her spirit, her being.  Death has not parted her from her lifelong spouse.  "Until death do you part..." is not true for Mildred.  While death as parted her from her spouse physically, it has not parted her from him emotionally and she continues to love him every day of her life.

Living, dating and loving in a superficial, self-gratifying, self-centered generation/society, I do not know if I will be as blessed as Ms. Mildred to meet my 'forever love' but the pieces of advice I am taking away from my visit today:  1) get to know your partner, 2) respect what you learn, 3) take time to understand them as they are and 4) expect nothing, cherish everything.  #lovewisdom  I look forward to visiting these ladies again in the near future!  Have a great Saturday! *sips frozen margarita*