It has been quite some time since I posted anything about my dating life. Since the breakup with William I have taken wise advice: do not date one man at a time ~ date three at a time ~ always remember I am beautiful, strong, living in my own place, no kids, amazing job which allows me to experience the world ~ yup, I have plenty of options! Clearly the mistake I have been making is dedicating all of my time to one person and when the cracks / red flags begin to show I stay longer than I should, becoming more and more unhappy and resentful. This is not to say the men were bad ~ they were just not for me. And "dating" does not mean sleeping with so please erase that from your mind. It means getting to know people slowly, observing them and how they treat me, how they react to situations in their lives and in our situation, realizing what I like, need and want in a man & in a long term relationship. The men that do not step up or do not provide me with what I need are outta here! The men that do step up, give me what I need emotionally and go out of their way to give me what I need ... they can stay around for a bit. Ultimately, the goal is to whittle down my choices to 'the one' that is my personal perfect fit long term.It is hard to balance work and dating when you are only in town ten days between trips. It has been interesting to say the least (I will post more as weeks go by in regards to some of the good and ridiculous) but today's post is about a man we shall name Mr. Prodigal.
Now Mr. Prodigal and I dated three years ago. We met online and eventually dated long distance. And it was amazing! My career had just taken off and before we could hang out consistently I was in Vietnam. 12 hour time difference did not affect us at all ~ our communication was consistent and allowed us to talk about things that we both wanted, what mattered to us long term and what we were look for romantically. When I finally came home we met in Baltimore for the weekend. Everything clicked and we continued dating for several months long distance, visiting each other two weekends a month. During this time he ran into some financial issues and all of a sudden became distant. He stopped communicating with me which I was not used to ... then one day he just "disappeared" no goodbye, no explanation ~ nothing. I was SO hurt. We went from talking every day, seeing each other ... to nothing.
Fast forward three years: almost three months ago I received a message from Mr. Prodigal. He apologized admitting that he took the cowardly way out, the easy way ... his approach was neither right nor mature. It was f*cked up but he is reaching out and would like to get to know me again ... I was hesitant at first. Responding to his emails/messages in one sentence - no more than two. I eventually expanded the length of my communication and we started talking more about on our lives presently (our jobs, our last relationship, our families, etc), moving into light flirting ... well we have been talking every single day since that message and three weeks ago he suggested we meet for a long weekend. My heart dropped ~ am I ready to see him? Am I ready to like him all over again? He is easy to like: a gentleman, a sweet, affectionate man, respectful, amazing kisser ... the point is he makes me nervous. Of course I immediately wondered if he "run" or disappear again if something he is not prepared to deal with happens. He says no but right now he is living a good life. He has established himself in Atlanta, living in a nice neighborhood and stable employment. He never brought it up again - no pressure. We continued talking and I made a decision three days ago to take him up on his offer. Since I have friends in Atlanta I suggested we meet there. I know the city, I can get around and socialize with my friends if the weekend goes sour. He is really excited and was not expecting me to say yes! We did not take long to finalize plans and we finalized my itinerary last night: arriving Friday Nov 1 until Monday Nov 5. He is working on our " social itinerary" as he wants to make sure "I am happy" and have a good time with him.
I do not have any expectations for the weekend or what this may mean for Mr. Prodigal and I in the future. My current plan is to simply get to know him in the space he is in now, have a good time, laugh a lot, eat some good food (he loves to cook) and then take everything day by day after the weekend. As it stands now, I return November 5 and then November 8 I am off to Ivory Coast for another two weeks of work. Not to mention he is still long distance. But I would regret not taking this trip. I would always wonder about Mr. Prodigal and I. And if it does not work out this time then I will know...no regrets either way. So keep me in your prayers ~ wish me luck!
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UPDATE:
This past weekend was my trip to Atlanta. The trip started off AMAZING as he greeted me with a huge smile on his face, a warm hug and a super sweet kiss. That evening we went grocery shopping after he was home from work. As he proceeded to make me a delicious dinner of chicken parm, pasta, garlic bread and salad, he poured me a glass of delicious red wine and wouldn't allow me to lift a finger to assist. Instead we spent that two hours talking, laughing, flirting and a few kisses here and there ...
During dinner we ate in front of the TV to watch the Knicks game. The good times continued - we laughed, caught up and I believe, truly enjoyed those hours in each others presence.
But this was not to be the theme of the weekend.
As physical chemistry was still present, hormones were super high but I was very hesitant to become physically engaged during this trip. Initially the reason was my cycle did not end until Saturday (I arrived Friday afternoon). However, once things did not 'pop off' the first night I started to notice changes in his behavior. He was less flirty, less talkative, more distant and at one point, mentioned that I should spend some time with my friends in ATL as he is used to living alone and not having to entertain guests so ... *DISCLAIMER: please excuse my language...* But WHAT IN THE HOT DAMN?! This trip was HIS idea. It was HIS idea for me to be in his space, in his apartment, in his city. This weekend was HIS suggestion THREE times! I specifically asked him about his expectations for the weekend and help with managing mine as I did not want to assume this was a romantic weekend if this was in fact a booty call weekend. He adamantly denied it being anything close to a booty call weekend - he has feelings for me, he missed me and he cannot wait to spend time with me blah blah blah bullsh*t ... As the classy lady I am (Ok, am working on being), I did not fuss or yell or cry. I called up my girlfriend and did what I needed to do to make the best of this weekend: I went shopping (thus the fabulous leather Coach bag and Michael Kors wedges), ate some delicious food, indulged in Godiva, sipped on some drinks and allowed myself to be flirted and complimented by two new men.
Besides, upon my return home I was greeted with more roses. Ain't he sweet? I think he may have missed me ...
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