30 is NOT the new 20 ... its just 30

At the end of this month I will be 34 years old.  And recently I was reminded that I am on the brink of not only 34 but being MID-THIRTIES! 

The fateful evening started classy enough with a holiday party hosted by one of the managing partners - JSI.  Now JSI is infamous for it's mid-20s personnel and there have been now infamous holiday party moments which remind us of this fact.  The main culprit is the open bar.  My personal favorite past moment is of a young IT nerd enjoying a personal lap dance, in public, against the ballroom window by a gorgeous Indian woman dressed elegantly in a beautiful sari.  But do not judge for this openly affectionate couple is now married.  My favorite moment from the party this year is of the Illustrious Project Director announcing that "...if you have made a new friend or are accompanied by an old friend, rooms are at a special rate for $89!"  I digress.

This year the party started off classy enough - light hor d'oeuvres, soft music, open bar.  It slid from classy to kinda classy an hour later when the carving station, mashed potato and pasta bar opened.  Background music - latin mix of salsa, merengue and bachata (getting to be my kinda party!).  The lines were quite long and people were using their personal connections to jump the line, plate in hand.  Bar, still open.  Once everyone enjoyed their dinner the party slid from kinda classy toward trashy as the lights went completely off over the dance floor and the DJ initiated line dances such as Cupid Slide and the Wobble.  Open bar.  Then it happened.  Open bar was to end in 15 minutes.  All the way trashy as people made a mad dash to the bar and returned with 2 - 3 drinks in hand.   What they could not carry, their non-drinking colleague carried for them.  It was during this time that I realized I had 3 glasses of red wine in front of me ... for a second time that night.  How did this happen?  Moving on ...

I attempted to dance my way sober ~ sweatin' it out to the latin mix, Wobblin' my way to sobriety.  When all of a sudden a suggestion:  let's keep the party going!  I look around to see the origin of this suggestion.  A 23-year old gent on the project.  He is wearing a v-neck sweater over what I am sure is a Brooks Brothers dress shirt and is an employee of Booz Allen.  Surely he is classy.  Safe.  No way could this get any trashier.  I was wrong.  Oh so wrong.

We piled into his also classy looking pal's BMW to make our way to an obvious bachelor pad in Adams Morgan.  I immediately spotted a 1000-piece puzzle on the dining room table as our 23-year old host offers a fine rum with ice and a dash of coke.  It was smooth and delicious.  Good rum, a puzzle on the table - oh yeah this is gonna be safe.  Classy.  Again, wrong.  Now in his habitat the 23-year old gent takes off his sweater and pulls out a poison of which I am not familiar:  Fireball Whiskey.  And suggests a game of which I am also not familiar as a Black woman:  Darts.  I thought "whats the harm?"  I slip off my blue suede wedges, take a chilled shot of this Fireball Whiskey (which tastes EXACTLY like the fireball jawbreaker I enjoyed in my youth...) and grab three darts and listen attentively to the rules.  I do ok (though I am sure there are quite a few dart holes in the wall surrounding the board -- oops -- but in my defense, it was my first time) but SOMEHOW two more shots of this Fireball Whiskey finds its way in my hand.  In my mouth.  In my body.  Coursing through my 33-year old system.  AND THEN a suggestion to walk to a local bar to dance.  Great!  Dance it off.  I still have time to class it up ... a little bit.

Wrong.

We get to the bar and the unassuming 23-year old Brooks Brothers wearing gent reminds us that he is celebrating a promotion.  What does "celebrating" mean to a 23-year old?  Shots.  So now I have a 'Washington Apple' shot in my hand and a rum / coke in another toasting his fortune.  Let's just say not long after the toast I find myself dancing and singing (loudly) to Taylor Swift.  Yes.  Taylor Swift.  Also in her 20s.  Ironic.  Appropriate.  All the way trashy.  Now it is at this moment that the 23-year old gent looks at me and says "I'm going home and going to sleep..." HUH?!  Where is that youthful energy?  I've been set up.  Bamboozled.  Drunk.

What is the lesson?  30 is NOT the new 20 ... its just 30.  Yo ass is old and you need to remember that your body cannot handle the same things a 20 year old can handle!  The next day I was hungover until 3pm.  I'm sure that 23-year old jumped up and probably went out for a nice run, stopping at a delightful brunch spot in DC.  I made chili.  In a crock pot.  Sleeping as it simmered.  30+ year olds need to know your poison and STICK TO IT!  Do not attempt to be adventurous and drink what a 23-year old has on hand.  Stick to what you know.  Stick to what your old ass body knows.  Your organs have been processing poisons for much longer than a 23-year olds' body.  S/He is both externally AND internally younger than you!  If they do not have your particular 'safe' poison (Sailor Jerry rum or Bombay Sapphire gin for me) then politely decline and ask for juice, coconut water or carbonated beverage.  By NO MEANS experiment.  By NO MEANS take shots!  Don't let LMFAO or Pink encourage you to jump around and see how many shots you can consume during their song.  Don't do it.  You will be sorry.  Reminisce on the good times - the times you could drink anything and wake up feeling 100% - your 20s.  But now its time to be realistic.  Its time you act and drink like your age.  Otherwise you will be hungover for 12 hours, promising Jesus you will never drink again if only the hangover will go away, looking forward to turkey chili.  #lessonlearned #I'm33

HAPPY New Year

As we begin a new year many of us will make new years resolutions:  lose weight, be happier/stress less, save more money, look for love or strengthen the relationship we are in. 
Normally I do not make resolutions as I know myself and these resolutions will last the first quarter of the new year.  Especially since I travel so much for work.  But change gon' come in 2013!

2012 was surely a year of INCREASE for me!  In 2012 my income increased with a new promotion.  I increased my worldly knowledge by going to three new countries:  Rwanda, Botswana and Jamaica! I increased my living space by getting rid of clothes and knick knacks I do not wear/use.  I increased my tech knowledge with a new phone and car with all kinds of bells and whistles.  I increased my personal finance knowledge by running my credit report, ensuring anything past due was paid immediately and laying out a budget which covers expenses, savings and "fun" money for 2013.  I increased my personal happiness by dancing more, as well as spending a ton of quality time with my family and friends.  I increased my Bible knowledge and spiritual relationship with God by adding daily Bible study to my routine.  God was more than generous!  However, even with such blessings and increases, I did experience some negative gains:  in stress and weight.  With averaging 220 hours a month and 80% travel - work sucked a lot of energy from my very being.  Do not misunderstand me, I love my job!  But the reality is I'm balancing two positions - my last position and my current - and the stress has lead to skipping meals, sleeping less than 6 hours a night and eating out (no time to cook).  Then my personal life was another source of stress.  As I'm not even in the mood to go into details, being unhappy in a relationship caused more than just screams and tears but also stuffing Godiva in my face.  Ultimately the stress and Godiva led to an increase in weight - 23lbs.  23lbs.  Thankfully most of that went into the already big booty, hips and thighs and even though I have never lacked male attention I hate how it looks on me. 

All of this being said, my only resolution for the new year is to be happy.  Truly a HAPPY new year.  Happiness which radiates from the inside out.  To achieve this I need to be healthier - emotionally and physically.  I do not believe huge, drastic changes need to be made but changes do need to be made in my professional and personal life.

Professional:  while I love my job, I need to ensure I have personal time to enjoy my space, my loved ones and even learn how to 'date' myself.  This means working 40 hours a week / 160 hours a month.  Period. 

Personal:  this year I will be 34 years old.  Yup, single and no kids 34.  But that's ok.  I have learned that being unhappy with someone is unhealthy.  I have learned to be ok with being single and the importance of dating myself.  What makes me happy?    In the last 6 months since I have been single I have laughed more, danced until I was soaking wet, confided more in God, organized my living space and finances and let me tell you, the peace that I feel is absolutely priceless.  I have also learned to say no.  Just because HE is interested doesn't mean I need to be.  If I'm not "feeling it" for whatever initial reason, I politely decline the invitation and walk away. I have recognized that in the past I have accepted invitations just because I did not like being in the house alone or the thought of "I'm 33, I need to find someone!" or maybe because I was feeling low and liked the attention. In the end this also drained me of valuable energy which I plan to keep and 'spend' with someone I'm truly interested in.

Health:  part of being happy also means being healthier physically.  In 2012 two very important people were diagnosed with Type II diabetes, my father and his sister.  Seeing my father in the hospital, sick was a quick reality check.  My dad and I are one in the same - we love the taste of good food.  We hum when we taste something delicious, tap our foot, nod our head...everyone around us will know there is a culinary party in our mouth!  But there needs to be control and balance.  And my goal will be to lose that 23lbs which will hopefully inspire my dad and aunt to live healthier lives.  Besides, I need my daddy around ~ I still expect to be walked down the aisle some day *wink* 

So here is to a HAPPY 2013.  I pray the same for every single one of you.
XOXO